feel it all

“I’m so sorry” she said as precious tears leaked down her cheeks. “I feel so stupid, I don’t know why I am crying.”

“I do,” I replied.

She sat in a gorgeous circle of women, shocked by her own vulnerability just 10 minutes into class.

“Please cry!” I begged of her. “Everyone please cry!” I blurted out.

This was followed by nervous giggles from the other women, quietly willing themselves not to break down in front of everyone like this other woman just did.

Like most women, I used to hate to cry. I thought sadness was the most useless emotion on the planet. I thought showing it, certainly made me a burden to everyone and exposed my weaknesses. No thank you.

tweet thisNot me.
I was a strong woman.
I had my shit together.

The funny thing is, I have my shit together now more than I ever have in my entire life. I am strong. I am not weak. And I’ve cried probably 15 times this month, at least…in front of people!!!

In Washington, when I crossed the Hood Canal bridge, sun sparkling off the water, I cried.

When I drove by the house I grew up in, the one my dad built for us, I cried.

Sitting across from my girlfriend’s husband, acknowledging his deep commitment to her happiness, I cried.

Honestly admitting my fears of being pregnant to my sister in law, I cried.

While teaching a Pleasure Class in Venice Beach to my California goddess tribe, sharing how lonely I am without them, I cried.

Sitting in a busy terminal in the Denver airport after missing my connecting flight by just 10 minutes, I cried.

I even cried on the shuttle bus to the rental car station.

I openly cried in front of strangers and loved ones alike, and I didn’t care. I was proud of myself.

Whether is was out of sadness, or happiness or being utterly defeated or completely moved, it didn’t matter!

Whatever the situation, I allowed myself to feel deeply, without shame. And why would I? In each instance I was being authentic, real and me. And isn’t that freedom? I wasn’t hiding or stuffing my true self down.

Every time we try to deny what is, we disservice our woman-ness, our deepest truth.

Every time a woman breaks down in class, I celebrate! Yes, now we are really getting somewhere! Let’s stop pretending.

When an embarrassed goddess says, “I don’t know why I am crying.”

I stand up and cheer and say, “I do!”

Because you are alive!

Because you are a gorgeously deep and complex woman.

Because you are blessed with the ability and the gift to truly feel!

So many of us today want it ALL! Well okay, then let’s feel it ALL. (Tweet This!)

The depth that we allow ourselves to feel is a reflection of the richness we get to enjoy.

Everything you desire is on the other side of those raw, true, messy emotions. And who says messy is bad? Let’s get into life. I mean really get into life and unleash the fury of our madness, our greatness, our softness,  all of it.

I beg of you, cry if you feel like crying. Rant if you need a good rant. Love hard when it overtakes you. And I invite you to do it all unapologetically.

There is nothing stronger, or more womanly than that.
Coach Briana