On my body, in this moment, you could very well find traces of vomit, urine, or breastmilk. Heck! Maybe even all three! By taking a look at my appearance (no bra, hair pulled back, still in my pajamas), and at my home (toys, half empty bottles and laundry everywhere) you could probably guess that I am a new mom.
What you might not be able to tell about me from my disheveled appearance is that I take exquisite care of myself.
As a pleasure coach, I am intensely aware of how un-selfish it is to put myself first. It’s true! I know we are taught that being of service to others is of the highest consciousness, and I agree.
But we cannot serve authentically and from our wholeness if we, ourselves, are operating at a deficit.
This is one of the reasons why huge parts of my being struggled to embrace the move towards motherhood. I felt like the running expectation for moms was one of sacrifice, sleep deprivation and selflessness. I wasn’t excited to sign up for that gig, and I haven’t.
What I have signed up for is being my most powerful and loving self for my son. This is why I am serious about MY self-care. I love my little guy, but without a healthy daily dose of “me time,” I watch myself become haggard, resentful and stressed. He doesn’t deserve to be subjected to that energy, and neither do I. I love us both too much to let that happen.
And love is truly what it all boils down to. But self-care is not self-love, it is merely an expression of it. Self-love can be seen through our relationship with ourself. It is how you feel about yourself, how you value yourself and how you treat yourself.
So treat yo self!
But self-care is about way more than pedicures and shopping sprees.
Your willingness to care for yourself without exception is an expression of how much you adore yourself and how worthy you consider yourself to be.
And let me tell you, you are precious beyond compare, and worthy of your most decadent loving! Word up!
But I can see how moms can forget this and get lost in their mom-ness. The day slips away with a baby on the boob. We spend all day feeding them, but can’t remember if we ever fed ourselves. The need for sleep trumps the desire to brush our hair or teeth. How can we adore ourselves when we don’t feel very adorable?
Self-care can be lavish and glamorous, but it doesn’t need to be. All it needs to be is loving. My self-care this past month looks radically different than it did years ago when I was a single gal. I used to plan all day pamperfests with morning hikes, midday green juices and afternoon spa appointments. Present day decadence looks like shaving my legs or the sweet freedom of getting out of the house to run to the market. And I am okay with this, because it still feels gooooood! It is when we feel depleted and worn down that nasty, unloving thoughts take hold in the brain and try to convince us we aren’t good enough.
Feeling good helps us stay strong and sane to our truest nature, which is love!
When I am in this ultimately loving space with myself, I see clearly. The love that is radiating inside of me, is also reflected everywhere outside of me. I will no longer see my son as a burden or a challenge. Because I see myself for who I truly am, I can now see my son for who he truly is. We are both precious souls, divine beings having a human experience, worthy of so much compassion, acceptance and care.
Self-care can get us to this place because it bumps up the love-o-meter inside of ourselves and illuminates the beauty that always exists outside of ourselves. So whether you are a man or a woman, a mother or not, please be selfish. Please take immaculate care of yourself. See yourself as the loving being that you are. Not only will you enjoy sweet sanity and a sensational sense of self, but you will see how your goddesses serves the highest good of all. No so selfish after all……..
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