I feel like I “should” love this time of year…
…but I don’t.
But why not?
This season is filled with so much love and cheer and sparkly new beginnings.
The holidays are pretty lovely and relaxing, the new year promises that renewed pump of pizazz, and then my birthday rolls on in to make it a sexy hat trick of celebration! All good things, right?
Well, if I am being totally honest (and I know giving you anything less is a waste of your precious time) I’m pretty uncomfortable relaxing my life away. I’d much rather be in action, creating awesomeness and working my little tail off.
Also, the new year triggers me. I used to get motivated by resolutions and the fun opportunity to better myself. But I am pretty committed to bettering myself all year long, so January 1st telling me I’ve got to be even better feels like a kick in the teeth.
And lastly, here comes 35. I still feel young and fresh and all around pretty wonderful, but I’ve also been telling my husband (who wants kids yesterday) “Give me until I am 35.”
And my burning womanly desire to have babies just hasn’t shown up yet.
So there you have it.
Three big reasons that likely contributed to my getting way too drunk on Saturday night and marvelously hungover on Sunday. I had the entire day on the couch to nauseatingly judge myself. And that surely didn’t help, because you know that judging myself is NOT in my pleasure.
So what is a pleasure goddess to do when the bleh-blues-strikes?
When one unhappy happening, one pessimistic thought turns into another and one judgement of the self turns into a tornado of nasty, demolishing the happy rainbow glitter village you worked so hard building?
It happens to all of us.
When the blues fog rolls in, it’s easy to forget that I have the unbeatable powers of pleasure on my side. And let’s be real, sometimes we enjoy sulking in the sad. It’s a brilliant reminder of why being in your pleasure feels so damn good!
This temporary amnesia takes hold because I get so down on myself that I start to believe that I am not that great, and I don’t actually deserve pleasure. Whoa! If that isn’t the biggest pile of poo I’ve ever been tricked into believing.
We ALL deserve pleasure, no matter what!
The bleh-blues are a huge red flashing stop sign getting our attention and telling us that pleasure is needed STAT!
You can geniusly use this change in mood as an indicator, that somewhere inside of yourself, you are out of alignment with your pleasure.
Everything I’ve shared with you is valuable information that is attempting to bring me into enlightenment about how I am treating myself and how I have been showing up for myself. I was allowing myself to believe that since I have been relaxing for the holidays, that I am lazy and losing my edge. This is not the truth.
Resting is not the Devil! I can use times of rest as much needed opportunities to consciously recharge myself. I can choose to acknowledge myself for this rather than beat myself up for it.
I can also stand up fiercely for MY unique pleasure and choose not to be influenced by the hype of the new year. We all have the power and permission to only do that which works for us, and leave the rest.
And babies! I have been making myself wrong for not wanting what my husband wants and for not having what other women have. The truth is, my pleasure comes from approving of who I am and what I want (or don’t want). Anytime I make myself wrong, I am not fully trusting my path and this always causes suffering.
When I forget that MY pleasure is MY own, I am way more likely to buy into the ideas of who I “should” be and what I “should” be doing.
Following the “shoulds” will never lead me to my pleasure.
When you are experiencing the blues, here are a couple pleasure reminders that can help you find your way back to you. Practicing these regularly will also help ward off the blues too! Stay true to you honey!
- Regularly acknowledge all of the amazing things that you do, instead of focusing on what you don’t do
- When you are down on yourself, instead of withholding pleasure from yourself, give yourself even more! Pour it on!
- Stay true to you honey! You either authentically desire something, or you don’t. This can’t be faked or forced.
- Give the blues a voice. Hiding from them won’t make them go away. Whatever is bringing you down, let it out.
I was feeling super funky when I started writing this, but expressing my frustration got the emotion up and out, and now I am free of the funk! Sharing these reminders with you and myself are one of the many ways I like to get back in my pleasure. I want to know, what do you do when the blues strike? Share your own personal blues-busters in the comments below.